Inspirational Blog Award and Gumbo

Thank you for this award, Kelli. Back at ja! Check out Kelli's GUMBO "A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Family, friends, daily challenges, living with chronic illness and disability and more...." at http://gumboofblogs.blogspot.com/

Seattle Rollercoaster

And now it is 60', I had to sleep under a blanket. SEATTLE!

We Need a Different Word for a Racist

Seattle is on fire! Hottest in 118 years! I can't be on computer long. But this racist business, the Boston cop email, the banana eating monkey reference! I can't not say my 2 cents. (That never goes up with inflation...just saying.)

So many white people do and say the most outlandish things, then swear they are not racist. I'm thinking we need a new word for these types of people--you know who they are. How many KKK members did we discover were pastors, police, politicians? How often have we heard, "I have black (fill in the with any minority) friends."? Maybe they believe that they really hold no prejudices against those they bad-mouth in private. Can that be? Is Ann Coulter a real blonde? Is it true that she is gay? I mean, personally, I think, "stupid," fits.

Yes, I watched Ms. Coulter and Rev. Sharpton on the Larry King show. Sharpton is aging like fine wine, he didn't blow a gasket this time, and I realize why---he has nothing to prove anymore. There is an African AMERICAN (that's right, I said it, leave the movie to Oliver Stone if you can't let go) in the WHITE HOUSE and he is not there to clean, cook, or shine the shoes of any white man---HE IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. The Rev. S. doesn't have to shout so loud anymore.

I posted my feelings about the whole Gates/Police, earlier, but the best thing I heard was this: The police there don't like the Harvard types, professors who the police think look down on them. Oh, the police won't cop to that (oh, I made a funny), but since there was a black cop and Hispanic cop on Gate's porch, a self-esteem issue makes the most sense. So, again, "stupid" is a fitting word.

Excuse me, but crap to the "I teach diversity classes;" it is too hot here to laugh. I have been to many diversity classes (always after some racist, er, stupid, thing happened at work) and any jerk who walked in with prejudices, walked right back out with them. Once a VOLUNTEER group had a situation where a woman attack the speaker who came out to the group---for a "teaching moment."

Nice try, Obama, but getting rid of racism in America will be harder than getting peace in the Middle East.

Seriously, let him get back to health care and job creation. Let's try to play nice with each other until our country gets its act together.

When I was a child I heard lots about monkeys, black licorice babies, the whole sha-bang, but never from the mouth of my mother and her disgust was palatable. I pitied those older relatives then and I pity all the children of those types of people who didn't have a mom like mine.

One man with a cane in his own house and 3-4 others with guns---GIMME A BREAK. Yes, cops have a tough job, and if they want respect they have to earn it like the rest of us. Good cops must reel in the bad cops. Bad cops are stupid.
(what's a sha-bang???) Where is my ice?

Coolest Song Rendition I Know-From Living Single

Stop Scare Tactics-A Canadian with MS Speaks Out

Please read this post from Carole's MS Blog if you are interested in what Canadians REALLY think about their health care system. (Or you could let a Republican scare you.)
http://carolemsblog.blogspot.com/2009/07/yes-america-i-like-my-healthcare.html

America's Best Hospitals 2009

The complete U.S. News and World Report's Honor Roll of the nation's best hospitals in rank order is:

1. Johns Hopkins Hospital, Baltimore

2. Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn.

3. Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, Los Angeles

4. Cleveland Clinic, Cleveland, Ohio

5. Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston

6. New York-Presbyterian University Hospital of Columbia and Cornell, New York City

7. University of California, San Francisco Medical Center

8. Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia

9. Barnes-Jewish Hospital/Washington University, St. Louis

10. Brigham and Women's Hospital, Boston; and Duke University Medical Center, Durham, N.C.

(Note: There is no 11th spot due to the tie above).

12. University of Washington Medical Center, Seattle

13. UPMC (University of Pittsburgh Medical Center)

14. University of Michigan Hospitals and Health Centers

15. Stanford Hospital and Clinics, Stanford, Calif.

16. Vanderbilt University Medical Center, Nashville

17. NYU Medical Center, New York City

17. Yale-New Haven Hospital

(Note: There is no 18th due to the tie above.)

19. Mount Sinai Medical Center, New York City

20. Methodist Hospital, Houston

21. Ohio State University Hospital, Columbus


For more information on the rankings, go to http://www.usnews.com/besthospitals


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Hippo in Seattle Summer

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.-- John Lubbock

Voices of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

Check out this great blog.

http://www.chronicpainvoices.com/

and a blog about other invisible illnesses:
http://theiciexperience.blogspot.com/

Sitting Ducks for Terrorists

One of the scariest books I ever read was The 9-11 Commission Report. Sent chills down my spine and a page turner I couldn't stop reading, crying out of anger, and reread many times.

My mother didn't have much money when I was young, but she had to but the Warren Commission Report about the JFK assassination. Although it has been questioned for accuracy since it was written; the 9-11 report remains true and now even scarier is the fact that only 80% of the recommendations of the committee have been completed. (And of those, as we have discovered, many are not well executed.)

We remain sitting ducks for terrorists in this country. Any day you doubt that just read the 9-11 report again. (Keep the lights on.)

TV Alzheimer's Do Our Emotions Cause Long Term Brain Damage?

It seems lately we mourn so many celebrities. My 102 year old aunt never had this issue. Most of the recent deceased are TV personalities, there was no TV 100 years ago. It took weeks for some to learn of Lincoln's assassination. Now we learn as they lie dying, we hear, we watch their funeral, we cry for people we have never met except through TV. And these losses will grow with a fury soon as the TV generation moves on. We are apart of it all, yet separate. How do all these tears, losses, affect our brains and bodies? Do our feelings differ in our brains? I still hurt over the death of JFK and I was only 6. I haven't cried as much for my own grandfather. (Nor did I know as much about how he died, etc., as I do Michael Jackson---seems wrong.) TV brings JFK back into my brain again and again over the years. Grandpa is gone.

Alzheimer's---an epidemic of the TV generation...just wondering...

Just a Butterfly Wing Away

A woman whom I befriended at my new home, fell this week. She would get up and stay out until bedtime, getting her hair done, dining, sleeping in the soft chairs in the movie room, sitting at the sing-a-longs, hanging out. I would always stop and talk with her. She ended up being seated next to me at our assigned dining table. She was soft spoken and had many stories. People said she couldn't hear, but she always heard me just fine.



When I was out early one day, there she was sitting in the library. A woman from the front desk was with her. I said my usual "How ya doing?" and my friend told me she had fallen, "hard."



"She won't let me call 9-11 or her sons," said the frustrated staff worker. (She was trying to unravel her blood pressure cuff to no avail.)



After asking the usuals, "Where does it hurt? Can you stand? can you breath okay?" and so on, I told her that she HAD to see a doctor. Long story short, my friend went to ER, hospital stay, rehab, and probably won't be back. I miss her. Again, this is something I must get used to.

Life really does come at you fast.

The Lion and the Woman. Art Made with Dots

This is a drawing by my better half. She made this with tiny dots. Her doodles should be framed.

Arrested for Being Black in Your Own Home

GIMME A BREAK! What? The media, people, are upset that President Obama said the police around Harvard U. acted "stupidly?" REALLY? I would use words much stronger. The man was in his OWN home, being ordered out by police with no good reason. The man showed ID. You have probably seen the mug shot, seriously, did that older gentleman LOOK like a robber??
Oh...he was black. Oh...he was pissed off about cops assuming he was not the owner of such a nice, upper income home---he accused the cops of racism. (I would have said a lot worse.)

WAKE UP AMERICA! This happens every day (I would bet) in our lovely nation. I KNOW that every day behind closed doors the "N" word is used with no regard. Was it right for our president to mention this single episode? YES.

I look forward to the president addresses such stupidity more in the future.

Sailing on Cool Waters

Too hot to blog. A day for watching sailboats.

Atrophy Leg, Walk with Me. The Best is Yet to Be.

It occurred to me, now many weeks into my attempt to walk again, that I needed to start charting my progress. Also, Angie (my mate in this un-impossible adventure) and I were forgetting what exercise we had done, what day we had done what, and most importantly how we had done whatever it was we did. (Stay with me here.)

Never fond of computer stuff (that means programs, applications, "downloads" or "uploads," basically I have a computer to write stories with), I bit the bite (or bited the bit? never mind) and opened up a Windows dealy. (That's right. I said it. DEALY. DEAL)

Now we chart how many reps of bicep curls, the weight of the, er, weight, (Dumbbell!) and are able to alternate exercises as needed. My point is to show you how little knowledge we have about how to make this happen. Not for lack of trying, good readers, to get professional help from any place YOU can think of---over 19 years. But, that's okay, now I believe that it was written in the stars. My entire life has been pretty much a learn as I go, on my own. Why I gave that person away after I was diagnosed with MS, well, I'm not sure. Maybe because it seemed there were so many willing "experts" just waiting to advise me, help me, for just a little payment. COUGH COUGH HACK

Shortly after deciding to stop being failed by professionals in MS, I went into action with a plan, sketchy as it was. May I say right here that I have come farther in the last 2 months than the last 10 years! Society is different now, I want to say since Obama, but that sounds trite and silly, I'm thinking it has something to do with the Internet and our masterful manipulating of it to connect with other human beings. We have discovered we are more alike than different. We have made "friends" in countries we never would have traveled to. We tweet back and forth, while watching a tennis match on TV, with someone we will never meet, don't really know, yet it is fun---it is connecting with other humans. (I have NO interest in tennis, but watching a bit with this person was fun!) So, I put an ad in Craig's List for people to join me in my desire to walk.

Surprisingly, there were many people who offered their time, in whatever way they could. I googled them, noted email addresses (hotmail is not the best...), one sent a long resume! My belief in the kindness of strangers had been given a real boost! But, my walking plans were going slow, roadblocks were hitting me (Dr. appts., sick spouse, financial issues, LIFE) and I couldn't make these kind people keep waiting. Many were free due to spring breaks. then summer vacations, and it appeared I only needed 5 minutes at a time on most days. They would take close to an hour to get here, an hour home, for FIVE MINUTES? Not fair.

So, Angie and I are going it alone right now. On weekends my assisted living caregivers ("aides") help me with morning exercises. Angie stops by for 5 minutes several days a week. I found a machine that promised to help with weight-bearing rehab, $1,000+ later---it is just a hoist. So, I decided to build up my muscles first. That tried, I decided to stretch first. Refusing to stray too far from walking, the current plan is a combination of all three. (See, in the middle of this I hurt my shoulder or arm. Dr. appt. end of month, rescheduled 3x due to van here breaking down problems.) (Set back, set back, set back, but I get it. I can play this game. I know it well.)

(Hear Harp) I read a comment on my blog from someone who had never commented before. It struck me. He or she was the one. We emailed. I called her. Angie and I wrote down our questions and put this physical therapist on speaker phone. She was GREAT. Answered our questions, gave suggestions we needed, and we shall meet. Fate sent her to me.

Angie and I are terribly wonderfully excited now, as we have a professional on our team. My left leg, the weakest, is moving on the exercise mini-bike as if it were a normal leg! (It used to collapse to the right like jello.) I am transferring 100% better than I have...in years.
Yes, my plan is in action. Born of desperation, anger and frustration, it will grow to become hope, joy and triumph.

Space or Health? Stars are the Stuff We are Made of.

Anniversary of man on the moon. Yep. Debates about whether or not to waste, er, spend more money on more trips into space. That night, 40 years ago, Aunt Vi and I stayed up to watch the historical first step. We didn't breathe, would an alien appear? Aunt Vi used to say, "In 100 years there will be a man on the moon!" The family would laugh at her. Three years later there was a man on the moon. She always said she wanted to go into space.

Can I just ask, where is that memo about all the great discoveries we got from that moon landing? I missed the memo. Any cures? Billions to explore planets while people are fighting so many illnesses here on Earth. Is it too much to ask that we bring health to our people before we head off to other planets? Just asking.

Your opinion? Memories of the "...first step..."?

Blog Award Free Thinker in Georgia Mountains and Beyond

Today's Blog award goes to.....Georgia Mountains and Beyond.

http://georgiamountainsandbeyond.blogspot.com/

"I retired and returned to my hometown of Blairsville, GA. in 2005. I enjoy following politics, sports car racing, a few stick and ball sports, and music, especially "home made music." We have so many special musicians in the mountains of North Georgia and they provide good entertainment. I consider myself somewhat middle of the road politically. On some issues I would be considered by many to be quite liberal. Yet on other issues I am more conservative. I equate the average to be middle of the road. I expect today's so-called conservative would consider me an appeaser because I believe in compromise when possible. "

Congratulations! Your blog is a breath of pure, mountain air!

Flo DePue 1925 Ft Wayne, IN. Old Photo Lost Relative

Taken about 1927, my aunt Violet is on right---if you know the person on left email me and I'll send it to you. Stellarlife@yahoo.com This was in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. Aunt Vi spoke of her often and they were greatest of friends. Her name was Florence De Pue.

Looking for Cindy Reffeitt Barnes Family--I have Photos

This was my dear friend since elementary school, Cindy Reffeitt Barnes, I last saw her in 1979 and learned she had divorced, moved, and died. I took many photos of her and her son Jeremy. If anyone knows how I can reach the family or if you are family---email me and I'll mail the photos to you. stellarlife@yahoo.com I always thought I'd see her again...

The Anchorman Dies at Age 92

I have to be honest: I thought Walter Cronkite was already dead, so you can imagine my shock.

You know, I have been very critical of the media and news anchors in particular, now I know why. Walter Cronkite told me about JFK being dead. Walter Cronkite told me about the first man on the moon. He gave the news without goofiness or bias. When he DID add a touch of his own reflection (like saying we needed to get out of Vietnam), it felt real. He was the real deal. Unknowingly, he is where I set my bar for a good reporter and "newsman." The definition of "Anchorman" is "Walter Cronkite." Rest in peace, you served us well, yes, a life well lived.

Hot Insulation on my Wires

"New Study Finds Attic Temperatures Can Pose Serious Risk--Copper.org
If you’ve ever been up in your attic on a sunny summer day, you know the meaning of hot. If you have a dark color roof on your house, the heat buildup in the attic can be unbearable. Well, pity your home’s electrical wiring — it has to perform in this superheated environment day after day.
The heat doesn’t affect the copper conductors in the wiring. They can handle far higher temperatures than those found in attics. The problem is the plastic insulation and jacketing that surround the wires. These are usually rated to withstand up to 194°F, but temperatures that approach this limit are not recommended.
Two factors combine to heat up the wire. The first is the heat in the surrounding, or ambient, air in the attic. Recent research carried out by the Copper Development Association has shown that ambient temperatures in attics can easily be 30° to 50°F higher than the outdoor temperature. Remember, the outdoor temperature that the weatherman quotes is measured in the shade."
"As people with MS, we have plaques on our nerves where demyelination has taken place. This slows the ability of the nerves to functin, and heat further slows down nerve impulse transmission in demylinated regions. Even a very slight increase of as little as one-quarter to one-half a degree in the body’s core temperature is enough to cause symptoms of heat intolerance. " --About.com

Notice any similarities? Nerves...wires...uh-hem. 85' in Seattle today. Slow ing d o w n,

Seattle is America's greenest and most sustainable major (population over 250,000) city, according to results in a survey of 655 cities! (According to the Natural Resources Defense Council.)
Hmmm, wasn't it just last week that we were ranked as one of the worst for air quality by the EPA? Councils, Associations, Committees, better get together once in awhile and compare data.
What's a citizen to believe? The, cough, cough, choke, M.E.D.I.A.?? hahahahah

NAACP Making it to a White House

Standing on the shoulders of giants, Happy 100 years NAACP!!

Talk About Your Last Will

I am absolutely shocked by how many people with children do not have wills. Are you crazy or lazy? Do you think you have nothing of value? YOU HAVE CHILDREN! And please don't just designate someone to be their guardian, talk it over with that person(s) first. Make sure THEY understand what a huge responsibility it is and then spell it out and I mean put it in writing if you want your kids raised a certain way. This is such an important process, hey, if you are okay with your next of kin raising your kids, fine. But think through some scenarios---what if there is a car accident and the next of kin you imagined raising your kids dies along with you?

A will is a serious, life altering document, when you become pregnant begin the process. (I would actually begin conversations before marriage. You might find the marriage is not on firm ground.) Your family and friends need to know what role, if any, they will play. They should think about it and say whether or not they are up to it.

As your children grow up, talk to them about your will---it is not a secret document, it is part of being a family that cares for one another. My mother and I read her will often, from the time I was 9. I was told where it was kept and I had a say in it. I was INCLUDED. How would I feel about this or that person raising me, and so on. There will never be any bickering over her will, among my brothers and I. We respect her and her wishes. There will be no surprises.

Having spoken to several friends about this lately (ranging in age from 28-50) it boggles my mind that the will thing is not cemented. My partner's father had a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate), yet when he slipped into a coma after a stroke---the hospital didn't get the word. It was very sad.
Last wishes need to be made when one has a clear mind, put in writing, shared with others, and let your doctors know who is to be called or who has power of atty. (This is especially true if you are gay.)

Make a will. It is easy to prepare once the discussions are over. Find a lawyer or do it online with a notary and witnesses. Got nothing? What if you won the lottery tomorrow? Died the next day? Who would get the money and are you okay with that? What if that person was not around? Ok with the next person? Just think about it. Things can happen fast. Be prepared.

Talking Heart Disease--Check out these Blogs By Cardiologist and Hawk

http://hmatter.blogspot.com/ The heart of the matter. Check out this informative blog about heart disease.



http://hearthawk.blogspot.com/ HEARTHAWK A blog by a survivor. " I am a numbers guy, an engineer, MBA, and for the real numbers geeks, a Six Sigma Black Belt (statistics on steroids). I am also a heart disease sufferer. It took my mother, her brother, and their father. One minute they were alive and symptom free, the next they were dead. No good-byes, just gone. So, I became a heart health activist and resolved that I will die some other way. This blog is about my journey to save myself and others, unearthing advances and atrocities, separating hope from hype, and delivering the unvarnished truth about curing heart disease, both good and bad. So, hold on tight. I promise you a hell of a ride! "

Decided to Buy a Gun, Feel Very Empowered

Today I made a chart of my exercises. Now we can track progress and make sure not to exclude any activity, or do too many in a row. Next we had to triumph over the finch-bird seed-stealing pigeons that have taken over my balcony. They wait until I am alone, knowing I am in a power chair and unable to chase them away. Opening the balcony door and screaming obscenities has not helped. So I did the next obvious thing---I bought a squirt gun.

Unfortunately, the gun leaked, so we took duct tape (A Vietnamese man at my previous apt., told me that his entire country was held together with duct tape.) and began securing the leaky gun. We placed the gun at the ready, in my power chair side-pocket. Within minutes the pocket was full of water.

Next we taped some more and covered the offending cracks with a surgical glove. Within minutes the glove was (HEY! Don't jump ahead!) filled with water. Then we did the logical move and duct taped the glove around the gun handle. It still dripped water, now from the barrel.

Sooo, we have it placed outside on a table. The pigeons have no appropriate fear of me, so I will have time to drive out, grab the gun and squirt. Now I wait.

Yesterday and today I was able to transfer by myself and once even without holding on to ANYTHING. I haven't been able to do that in...well, at least 5 years. We added a new calf stretch, which felt fantastic. My bad "atrophy, can't be helped..." leg stayed firm and straight on the exercise bike today with no weakening to the side.

I am feeling true empowerment. Those pigeons are going down!

Multiple Sclerosis and a Purple Gun, Don't Try This at Home

Waiting for "flying rats" as my friend calls them, but I actually love all birds...just play nice with each other. "MS can cause cognitive and mood changes, unusual behavior, and obsessions over finch food stealing pigeons."

Retire in Seattle, Theatre, Film, Art, Sports, Mts., Water

The Viewpointe on Queen Anne---a proven track record, many activities, caring residents and employees, have total independence or assisted living services when you need them. Great views. Come to Seattle or stay in Seattle---heaven on earth. Call 206-282-5777 for a tour.

Mini Cheney Supports Papa, Well, a New Sheriff is in Town

Out of the bag: Cheney's daughter wants to run for a political office. DOJ do your job. My mind just changed, go after the $%^& and shine the light of justice on his dark heart. The daughter is already defending him. The apple must rot from this tree.

Monday Brain Mush or Indiana Gal Takes on the CIA

Here I am pondering at my Indiana cemetery, rightfully named, "Prairie Grove," as once it was.

My mom, aunt, and I loved cemeteries. My partner likes them too. So peaceful and we enjoy reading the headstones. Many from my family are buried here.

In later years my great-uncle Arthur used to sit on the headstones at night...to watch the naked women on the drive-in screen across the road. We had fun teasing him about that.

My jumble of thoughts today: I am thrilled Sotomayor will be our next SC justice! I find it hysterical that the GOP can't balk much for fear of losing the Latino vote. The fact that she is qualified for the job is low on the GOP list. They just don't get it. Americans are tired of this "playing politics" crap. WE don't care what color or creed or gender or ___ a person is; we want to live in the age of REASON. We want to rise above, become one people with a common enemy of hatred, greed, and ignorance.

The media is latching onto the sins (toxins) of bottled water. I used to work for a city water dept., we had ARSENIC in our tap water (along with other nasty stuff). When I brought this up to a Water Dept. Inspector he swiftly shut me up by saying he would explain it to me later. (Why it was safe.) Years later my city would be called on the carpet for having high levels of arsenic in its tap water. Read all about it when my book comes out. (Typing with one finger slows the process...)

Dec.31, 1999, remember that day? American went nuts worrying about the horrors to come on Day One 2000. The city of Seattle had their call center open all night to be ready. I got a call from a sweet old women, she was so scared. The media had had a field day scaring people. She asked if this or that would happen and what should she do? I told her everything would be fine. She was shocked by my calmness. "What are YOU doing to prepare?" she asked. "Nothing," I said. She went on and so I started telling her what I would do should her fears happen. Her biggest fear was what she would do with her poop if the sewers stopped working.

Yes, I gave her my speech about how mankind perseveres, how together we will move mountains and fix whatever breaks. I told her I have faith in my fellow man and in myself, "I even have faith in you. You and the city of Seattle will be just fine." She asked for my personal phone number "just in case" (apparently more trust in phone co. than city government) and I gave it to her. The world turned, the sun came up, the toilets flushed and my phone never rang.

The CIA, oh... we huwrt their wittle feewlings. How DARE we want to know what they did? They will QUIT! I say--QUIT. Maybe we need a whole new group of agents, the ones we had sure made some big, fat, stupid mistakes. Bad thing is that this takes time away from Obama fixing our economic problems, our health care crisis and patching up global relations.

That's enough mush for now. Ow...I felt a brain cell dying...or was that one being born?!

Taking the Car Keys from Elderly Parents

Taking away your aging parent's car keys is one of the most traumatic experiences either of you will go through, but it may have to be done. I, living 2,000 miles away, would get information about my mother's driving abilities---and it was not good.

Now, some of the info came from her aunt (Aunt Vi) who is 21 years OLDER than my mom, Aunt Vi was always an overly cautious driver and her vision was very poor. But one year I got info from a young, bright, relative who said she had just witnessed my mother driving straight through a red light.

I would bring up the subject that one day, Mom, you will have to stop driving and how will you deal with that? It was laughed off as being true, but too far off to think about now.

May I (well, my blog, so I will) tell you: Keep in mind that if a lawyer can establish that YOU knew of your parent's poor driving due to cognitive aging issues and someone is hurt (or worse killed) because of it, then YOU could be held accountable.

Your parents watched over you as you grew up. They made you put on your hat, take your medicine; it was their job. Now you have a job and they deserve your best. (Even if they treated you poorly, don't let them continue that now.) If talking doesn't work (and prepare for their fears, get some plans in mind for a way for them to get food, visit friends, go to church, continue their lives---if YOU need help with that aspect, then talk to a social worker, free in many areas) then a call to the Dept. of Motor Vehicles is in order. They can send a letter to your folks requesting a test. They can revoke your parent's license and you are not the bad guy.

Remember how your parents (and probably you with your kids) made up stories about Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc.? They were making a fun, understandable world for you, now you must reverse that role. "I've heard the DMV does that sometimes."

Aunt Vi went through all the aging stages, this one included, kicking and screaming all the way. You have to be tough. You want them safe. They would do the same for you.

I am always shocked at how long adult children wait to begin these conversations with their parents. The sooner you start, the better. Start at least thinking about it. Have a plan. Keep them, you, and the rest of us safe.

My First Car, No DeSoto

My first wheels, brother sold it to me for $100. Broke down 100 times. Had over 100,000 miles on it. The old cars were great though, emissions aside, the sound of the door shutting---you don't hear that now. No seat belts, kids could stand up in the back for a better view...funny, I don't recall anyone in my family having an accident. (And I had a lot of family.) When Aunt Vi sold her DeSoto, I cried and kissed it good-bye.

Cars were magic carpets to freedom, a place to hang with peers that was away from adults. Turn up that radio, Man. Cruise the parks, looking for friends, and pot, but I wasn't into that. I just wanted to get away, far away. I don't love cars anymore, but I miss driving.

Moving Toward the Core of the Matter

This is the beast. Even my able-bodied, climbs mountains, friend, couldn't walk with it. In fact, she could barely push it. OK, FINE! It won't help me...so sue me! I laughed so hard watching everyone try and figure it out that I strengthened my core muscles. We attached the sling I bought extra, and even that is so difficult to use...in small print: "You must be able to walk to use this." SAY WAAAAAAAAAA?? I would feel guilty even selling it on Craig's List...here comes another tax deduction. Oh, yes, this is another problem with being home bound: YOU CAN'T GO OUT AND SHOP. WAIT! I will rent it out and make extra money. sigh

OKAY, onward. I found some great pulleys in my living room (I moved in a hurry, and did none of my own packing.) cubes (leather, can be sat on, have lids to store stuff in---we are always finding good stuff in there!) and found how to locate my weak core. NEXT---I will make that area strong. I stood from the toilet BY MYSELF---holding on to nothing! My friend, Angie is helping me stand while holding on to nothing. Seattle is providing vitamin D now. My atrophied left hand is visibly plumper, muscle baby!

Sometimes I feel so hopeless and then something will move on my body or I will be able to use a finger that was contracted---and again it feels like I am on the right track. I don't know where I'll end up, but I know I'm going in the right direction.

Try Until You Die

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. ~Robert Schuller

Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer. ~Author Unknown

Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ~Earl Nightingale

Hoist Ahoy Mates! Men and Their Strong arms

One of the great things about living in my new home is there are MEN here, men to unclog toilets, carry UPS boxes to my unit and put together machines. Here are photos of the...thing being assembled. Actually, it looked more complicated than it was and the instruction book was best left on the floor. Tomorrow you will see the finished...uh...thing.

Screaming, Yelling, Shouting Humans, Why?

Can anyone tell me WHY people on TV, who are wearing microphones, YELL? Reporters do it. Game show contestants do it. Weather forecasters, excuse me, meteorologists do it. WHY?? Ipods---who is keeping the stats on hearing problems? And, HELLO, stop screaming on your cell phones! I don't care about your exciting (not) life. Whew. Got that off my chest.

Diabetes Gets a Friend to Help

An artificial pancreas---whoa! I hope this changes the lives of many who struggle with Diabetes monitoring, I and II. Maybe robots WILL finally help us! (Unlike the Roomba that is little more than a catsitter and dog antagonizer.) (Or is that the Rumba...whatever.) The AI pancreas looks awesome, but will be a while in testing stage. Fingers crossed.

To read wonderful diabetes blogs just click on 100 chronic blogs list on my sidebar and you will find several.

MS Blog "Must Read"

http://msawarenessgallery.blogspot.com/ I feel like I just found a four-leaf clover.

READ INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE ENTERING THE LOOKING GLASS

That's right, laugh if you must, I am a reader of instructions. Measure twice, cut once, I say. I read the warnings on light bulbs and directions on instant oatmeal, that's right---I said it.

Unfortunately, while I am reading page one, my co-horts are usually done with bulb installation, oatmeal cooking, and various assemblies...I find it despicable! Some American, well, some Asian person or other worldly human took the time to compose instructions and by GOD I'm going to honor their hard work.

Uh-hem, I did find page one a bit disturbing, though I swear the room seemed to swirl with laughter as I read...(You might have to enlarge the small print.)

I Don't Know What I am DOING

If you doubt that, note that I am now FOLLOWING MY OWN BLOG! Holy Stupidity!

The World Needs Boxes

My newest walking aid has arrived via UPS. It was in the biggest box I have ever received. I once worked in a box factory and this definitely would have been an A-Level job.

Where would our life be without boxes? As a child I LOVED boxes, any shape or size. Animals love boxes, just plop a box in the middle of your main room at home and watch what your pet does. (If you have an ant farm...not so much, but maybe.) Bring a sealed box home and set it on the table. Watch your spouse. Throw a box out your car window while passing a police station, drop one in an airport, place one in front of Nordstrom's in Seattle and watch live TV news coverage as a robot attacks it. (Please, I'm not suggesting you do these things, just THINK about the consequences of boxes. I CAN'T go back to prison!) Then there are the holiday boxes that fill us with joy. Okay, you get the idea.

So, yes, I was excited beyond sanity to get this huge box, my friend Angie, who offered to assemble the contents---not so much. You see, Diane thought the ad said the device weighed one pound, later, after telling the world (HER world, much smaller than THE world, but riots are quite bad, coups always possible) about the lightweight creature, but the ad read "100 lbs."

OK, fine, HEY, I have MS, shrinking brain, black holes, lost cells, PLUS I'm FRAKKING FIFTY two; ANYHOO---day one: open the box. Pandora, look out!

Will I Have Multiple Sclerosis?

"When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be?
Will I be pretty, will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,Whatever will be, will be.
The future's not ours, to see.
,Que Sera, Sera,What will be, will be.
When I was young, I fell in love.
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead.
Will we have rainbows, day after day?
Here's what my sweetheart said.
Que Sera, Sera,Whatever will be, will be.
The future's not ours, to seeQue Sera, Sera.
What will be, will be.

Red Velvet Bedroom and Amish Dolls

One week my great aunt Vi decided to wallpaper her bedroom in red velvet patterned paper. She and her longtime companion , Ivah, were always wall-papering or painting or in some way redecorating their jointly owned three-apartment house. Aunt Vi also put down red carpet, bought a red velvet chair, red drapes and a RED bulb for her red swag lamp. She had many friends and sitting on the arm of her chair are two Amish, carved wood dolls. Is she great or what?

Not Your Grandparent's Old Folk's Home--Get Your Party On!

Never a big parade or fireworks person, the Viewpointe on Queen Anne is have a big party with BBQ, a band, and the best view in city of the Lake Union fireworks. This place is not your grandfather's old folk's home. Times have changed and so have facilities for your loved ones who you don't want to be alone, or who don't want to live by themselves, clean/care for a house, do the linens, and cook. All taken care of here, and assisted living is available for, well, people like me. OK, enjoy the 4th everyone, and don't we all, here in America, look at the 4th of July a little differently since 9-11?

We are Americans. We are flawed, but we work to be better. We finally have a racially diverse political administration. We have an African American president. We allow gay marriages in some states (flawed, but working on it). We have the Americans with Disabilities Act. We are fighters, deep in debt, but crawling out one dollar at a time. We come together more often than not, to pray as we wish, say what we wish, live as we wish. We are good people who look forward to our new chance to prove that fact to the world and to the neighbor next door.

Happy 4th of July!

MS Repair Around the Corner

Why Repair Of Brain's Wiring FailsScienceDaily (July 1, 2009) — Scientists have uncovered new evidence suggesting that damage to nerve cells in people with multiple sclerosis accumulates because the body's natural mechanism for repair of the nerve coating called "myelin" stalls out.The study, published July 1, 2009, in the print edition of Genes & Development, was conducted by scientists at the University of California, San Francisco and University of Cambridge. The research was led by co-senior investigator David Rowitch, MD, PhD, a Howard Hughes Medical Institute investigator at UCSF.The investigation, conducted in mice and in human tissue, showed that repair of nerve fibers is hampered by biochemical signals that inhibit the development of cells known as oligodendrocytes, which function as repair workers in the brain.Oligodendrocytes form a protective sheath, known as myelin, that insulates the fibrous cables, or axons, radiating from nerve cells. In multiple sclerosis, the immune system's T cells and B cells attack oligodendrocytes, ultimately damaging the myelin sheath to the point that the electrical signals transmitted by the axons beneath it are disrupted.Remarkably, the brain generally is able to recruit fresh, immature oligodendrocytes to the myelin sheath to repair the damage, for a time. This explains why, in the most common form of the disease, known as relapsing remitting MS, the symptoms -- which range from tingling and numbness in the limbs to loss of vision and paralysis -- disappear or are greatly reduced, for some times months or years at a time.Ultimately, however, the repair process falters and the disease progresses. In their study, the team set out to see if they could determine what was slowing down myelin repair. They lesioned a small region of white matter in healthy mice, then monitored the repair process, examining the tissue after five, 10, and 14 days.To find out which genes were contributing to three key stages in the repair process – the recruitment of oligodendrocyte precursors to the site of injury, the maturation of those cells into functional oligodendrocytes, and the formation of a new myelin sheath -- they measured the activity of 1,040 genes. All of the genes they studied encode transcription factors, which regulate the activity of other genes. Their experiments showed that 50 transcription factors are working during key steps in myelin repair.The team then honed in on a gene called Tcf4, because its expression was strong in damaged areas where repair attempts were under way.Tcf4 is involved in a cascade of biochemical events known as the Wnt (pronounced "wint") pathway, whose importance has been well recognized in normal development of many tissues, including the brain. Until now, however, Wnt had not been linked to myelin production or repair."This is the first evidence implicating the Wnt pathway in multiple sclerosis," says lead author Stephen P.J. Fancy, PhD, a postdoctoral fellow in the Rowitch lab. "We consider this an exciting development in our efforts to understand why the repair process often fails in the disease."To glean further evidence about Wnt's role, the researchers hyperactivated the Wnt pathway in the oligodendrocytes of mice, which caused a profound delay in repair. Further analysis suggested that the Wnt pathway activation was creating a roadblock that prolonged oligodendrocyte precursor development."While the animals eventually showed repair, it was delayed compared to normal mice," says Fancy. The researchers also tested human tissue for the presence of Tcf4, and found the protein in areas damaged by MS but not in healthy white matter. Further, the researchers examined available data from another study and found that many signaling molecules of the Wnt pathway are overactive in lesions of patients with MS."This is an important step that we hope will lead to targeted therapies involving the repair process," says co-senior author Robin Franklin of the University of Cambridge.Now the team is starting to examine some of the other genes it found to be active in the myelin repair process, and is developing new mouse models to help test potential therapies that might manipulate the Wnt pathway to improve myelin repair. Given the pathway's role in so many different processes, however, Rowitch cautioned that targeting Wnt could cause unintended side effects.The new work may also have implications for another neurological disease, periventricular leukomalacia, which can lead to cerebral palsy in extremely premature infants, says Rowitch. Recent studies by Rowitch and colleagues show a similar inability of oligodendrocytes to perform their important repair function."The researchers have made an encouraging finding that could open a new window into the cause of failed neural repair in multiple sclerosis," says Dr. Patricia O'Looney, Vice President of BioMedical Research at the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. "Understanding such mechanisms should help advance the efforts to find valuable treatments for this debilitating disease."
The work was funded by the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, the United Kingdom Multiple Sclerosis Society and the National Institutes of Health and Howard Hughes Medical Institute.Co-authors of the study were Sergio E. Baranzini, Karen-Amanda Irvine and Nader Sanai, of UCSF, Chao Zhao of University of Cambridge and Dong-In Yuk of Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

African American Female Doctors Wanted

Looking back I can see where my childhood would one day intersect with unexpected events of my adulthood. I had just turned 2 here and was furious about wearing that dumb nurse get up. The stuffed toys around ARE NOT MINE. (Can you guess what the, er, egg faced monster is sitting on?)

Where are African American doctors? I have never come across one in real life. Even AA male docs are not easy to find. I was determined to find a black dentist and eventually did, but it was like pulling teeth to find him! Women have it especially hard because overall we are expected to settle for being a nurse. "Hawthorne" the new TV show starring Jada Smith---WHY not a doctor?

Oh, sure, it costs an arm and a leg for medical school. (GET A GRANT)

Oh, sure, no one IN the educational system will encourage your desire. ($%^& them!)

Try for Morehouse, reach for the stars, don't let anyone tell you it can't happen. America needs more dedicated doctors.

And, look, if your desire is to be a nurse---GO FOR IT. Never let anyone else try and plan your life. They had their chance with their own life, we each get one.

Morehouse School of Medicine http://www.msm.edu/

(And of course there are many other good medical schools)

Eye on MS

Can you guess what this is a photo of? I took it from my balcony.

Isn't the sky a remarkable place? After MS took away my vision in 1991, I can never look at anything without remembering what it was like to fear never seeing anything again. I try to channel each sight deep into my brain for later recall, if necessary. Every eye exam, every MRI, will mention that affected area of my optic nerve. I wish it to be gone, with no footprint remaining, but with each passing year that possibility seems further away. Like cancer, MS never really leaves once it has entered your body. And each year I must learn again how to live with MS. Live with MS, not just survive.

Yes, that is the moon, but what else do you see?

To Take a Shower with MS

I took a shower today. A full body shower, not a sponge bath. Now, to many of you this is no big deal; to those of us who are unable to walk or have progressing (20+ years) multiple sclerosis, it is huge. I didn't plan it, didn't discuss it with my caregiver first, didn't hesitate---I just rolled close to the shower, grabbed the side-bar and swung over. Then I barked orders to my shocked caregiver and ten minutes later I swung back in my power chair, fully clean.

What a wonderful feeling. You would need to know more about my childhood to understand how disturbing these last 7 months have been---bathing was fast becoming difficult to the max.

In 2003, I was having trouble raising up from the bath tub. One day I couldn't get up. My partner put four pillows behind me and I scooted on them to rise up and over the tub. It was then that I spoke to my mom about whether or not she ever had trouble getting out of tub. She laughed and said that she hadn't had a bath in years. That shocker made me remember how she hadn't bathed during her two visits to Seattle in 1982 and 1989.

Doubtful that I will ever have a regular bath again, unless that cure/repair for MS happens soon, and it is horribly ironic...that this would happen to me at this stage of my life. Just take from this to not take the simple joys for granted. So many don't have what you do. A bath once was such a simple task and joy, but one I never ever took for granted.

Thanks to reading a post from Cranky http://musingsofacrankycaregiver.blogspot.com/ I found a device that will help me with walking and wight bearing exercises, PLUS transfers. Can't wait to add that to my arsenal in my walking attempts. Thanks Cranks!