Out of Control Love

Why is it that when I make a declaration on my blog, it so often becomes untrue within a week? I wrote about never getting colds and proceeded to get a terrible one; I wrote about never vomiting and vomited such that I had to go to an ER: and most recently I wrote how hollow FaceBook, with all the "Friends" (who really are not) and "I LUV U" (who really don't), was not something I could feel real about---suddenly, with no notice whatsoever, I am shouting out to strangers, repairmen, caregivers, friends and family, "I love you!"

What is happening to me? My apt. mgr. called one day and as we hung up (SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE UNDER TWENTY---phones used to have to be "hung up" before ending a call--really! Check it out at a museum.) I said, "Love you." WHAT??? Love him? He has been here all of 6 months.

When I was at the bistro playing a game and one of our building elevators broke, two strapping young (OMG, they were probably almost 30...sigh.) men walked by and I shouted, "Are you the elevator men?" After they said simply, "No." I replied, (hold it...hold it...) "I love you anyway!"
I LOVE YOU ANYWAY???? Who am I? Where did you take Diane?

After texting my friend of over 20 years, I texted, "I love you. Goodnight." Today I texted "I love you." to another friend. I am anxious, as I write to email my cousin right now and tell her I love her. Here is the clincher: I FEEL like I mean it. I feel full of love like a pinata and the bat hit me. I told a wrong number that I loved him, I told a couple of call center employees that I loved them. I told my mom I loved her. I told a visiting dog I loved him. HELP! I AM OUT OF CONTROL.

It is a few hours later and I just finished a bridge "class." I am not feeling so loving just now. Is the spell I was under broken? I once told ONE blogger that I loved him and I MEANT it; now...I am afraid to leave comments as my love may flow out. No, no, no, don't think this is a good thing. This is NOT ME. My partner of 31 years has caught me and looked at me in disbelief. *I* am in disbelief. Yet...I truly feel love.

Nothing has changed in my life. No epiphanies. No visits from dead aunt, though some unknown spirits have been walking my hall, no big deal, after all this IS a retirement home. Hmmm, I have been sad lately so many people I meet die or are dying here. Guilt? Regret? I didn't really get to know them all that well.

Anyone else ever experience this? (Shut up Jen.) (Jen is a blogger big ball of lovey-huggy smiley Jersey Gurl, she had to have been born that way.)

Hold it...hold it...I LOVE you guys! I do!
help me