It is 5:23 A.M., too soon to wake up, but this is no ordinary day---today is your big interview with the boss and everyone thinks you are a shoe-in. Can't be too prepared, you have worked long hours and studied through many nights, wake up and...no...no...God, not today.
The red digital numbers on your alarm clock look fuzzy, foggy. You close one eye, look, then the other. Maybe if you keep your eyes closed until the alarm goes off, maybe you will see okay.
You shut your eyes and pray, "Please, God, not today."
The fast beating of your heart seems audible in the dark room. 5:35 A.M., you open your eyes to peek...all doubt is gone. Your MS optic neuritis has returned. You are relapsing. Fear grabs hold of you as you wonder how long this will last and how bad it will get.
By 6 A.M. you are in the bathroom, looking at your blurred face in the mirror. Is that you? It could be anyone. Vision may be disrupted in the eyes, but tears flow freely. You reach for the water glass, knocking it to the floor. You back up against the wall and slowly slide down, grasping your knees until you are rock bottom to tile and rocking. Inside you scream, "WHY NOW? WHY NOW? WHY NOW?"
That interview will be missed, along with three weeks of work. IV steroids will be administered. The runner-up will get the promotion and office gossip will say, "Too bad. She has that MS thing, you know."
In a couple of months your vision will be almost normal. But MS has stolen something from you. The relapse happened on a bad day. You have become unreliable. Co-workers, friends, family, they will be understanding in the beginning...but the truth of MS is written in those new lines on your face.
Choices must be made about how you will handle relapses. You can embrace this new unpredictability of your life's days, know and share that this is who you are, no worse a you than before, just different. Or, you can stare at the lines on your face and curse the darkness that brought them. Curse the dark, light a candle. Stay, go. Cry over the many glasses of milk you will spill, or buy a cat. HA!
Will you choose to be angry and sad that you relapsed, or happy that it didn't last forever?
Keep in mind that your choice may effect your MS. Believe that you have no control whatsoever over it and you will be on a rocky road for many years. Yes, it strikes right when we are starting to take off in our careers, starting to raise our children, starting to build a solid foundation for our future---would you rather it had started at age 5?
No, it is not fair, but no disease is. Relapsing/remitting, what manner of sick game is this?
Use your remitting time wisely. Sharpen your emotional tools. Discover your true friends. Plan your finances. Educate yourself about MS. Don't make drastic decisions during a relapse. And find plenty of time to just live as normally as you can.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Life with Relapsing/Remitting Multiple Sclerosis
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It is 5:23 A.M., too soon to wake up, but this is no ordinary day---today is your big interview with the boss and everyone thinks you are a shoe-in. Can't be too prepared, you have worked long hours and studied through many nights, wake up and...no...no...God, not today.
The red digital numbers on your alarm clock look fuzzy, foggy. You close one eye, look, then the other. Maybe if you keep your eyes closed until the alarm goes off, maybe you will see okay.
You shut your eyes and pray, "Please, God, not today."
The fast beating of your heart seems audible in the dark room. 5:35 A.M., you open your eyes to peek...all doubt is gone. Your MS optic neuritis has returned. You are relapsing. Fear grabs hold of you as you wonder how long this will last and how bad it will get.
By 6 A.M. you are in the bathroom, looking at your blurred face in the mirror. Is that you? It could be anyone. Vision may be disrupted in the eyes, but tears flow freely. You reach for the water glass, knocking it to the floor. You back up against the wall and slowly slide down, grasping your knees until you are rock bottom to tile and rocking. Inside you scream, "WHY NOW? WHY NOW? WHY NOW?"
That interview will be missed, along with three weeks of work. IV steroids will be administered. The runner-up will get the promotion and office gossip will say, "Too bad. She has that MS thing, you know."
In a couple of months your vision will be almost normal. But MS has stolen something from you. The relapse happened on a bad day. You have become unreliable. Co-workers, friends, family, they will be understanding in the beginning...but the truth of MS is written in those new lines on your face.
Choices must be made about how you will handle relapses. You can embrace this new unpredictability of your life's days, know and share that this is who you are, no worse a you than before, just different. Or, you can stare at the lines on your face and curse the darkness that brought them. Curse the dark, light a candle. Stay, go. Cry over the many glasses of milk you will spill, or buy a cat. HA!
Will you choose to be angry and sad that you relapsed, or happy that it didn't last forever?
Keep in mind that your choice may effect your MS. Believe that you have no control whatsoever over it and you will be on a rocky road for many years. Yes, it strikes right when we are starting to take off in our careers, starting to raise our children, starting to build a solid foundation for our future---would you rather it had started at age 5?
No, it is not fair, but no disease is. Relapsing/remitting, what manner of sick game is this?
Use your remitting time wisely. Sharpen your emotional tools. Discover your true friends. Plan your finances. Educate yourself about MS. Don't make drastic decisions during a relapse. And find plenty of time to just live as normally as you can.
It is 5:23 A.M., too soon to wake up, but this is no ordinary day---today is your big interview with the boss and everyone thinks you are a shoe-in. Can't be too prepared, you have worked long hours and studied through many nights, wake up and...no...no...God, not today.
The red digital numbers on your alarm clock look fuzzy, foggy. You close one eye, look, then the other. Maybe if you keep your eyes closed until the alarm goes off, maybe you will see okay.
You shut your eyes and pray, "Please, God, not today."
The fast beating of your heart seems audible in the dark room. 5:35 A.M., you open your eyes to peek...all doubt is gone. Your MS optic neuritis has returned. You are relapsing. Fear grabs hold of you as you wonder how long this will last and how bad it will get.
By 6 A.M. you are in the bathroom, looking at your blurred face in the mirror. Is that you? It could be anyone. Vision may be disrupted in the eyes, but tears flow freely. You reach for the water glass, knocking it to the floor. You back up against the wall and slowly slide down, grasping your knees until you are rock bottom to tile and rocking. Inside you scream, "WHY NOW? WHY NOW? WHY NOW?"
That interview will be missed, along with three weeks of work. IV steroids will be administered. The runner-up will get the promotion and office gossip will say, "Too bad. She has that MS thing, you know."
In a couple of months your vision will be almost normal. But MS has stolen something from you. The relapse happened on a bad day. You have become unreliable. Co-workers, friends, family, they will be understanding in the beginning...but the truth of MS is written in those new lines on your face.
Choices must be made about how you will handle relapses. You can embrace this new unpredictability of your life's days, know and share that this is who you are, no worse a you than before, just different. Or, you can stare at the lines on your face and curse the darkness that brought them. Curse the dark, light a candle. Stay, go. Cry over the many glasses of milk you will spill, or buy a cat. HA!
Will you choose to be angry and sad that you relapsed, or happy that it didn't last forever?
Keep in mind that your choice may effect your MS. Believe that you have no control whatsoever over it and you will be on a rocky road for many years. Yes, it strikes right when we are starting to take off in our careers, starting to raise our children, starting to build a solid foundation for our future---would you rather it had started at age 5?
No, it is not fair, but no disease is. Relapsing/remitting, what manner of sick game is this?
Use your remitting time wisely. Sharpen your emotional tools. Discover your true friends. Plan your finances. Educate yourself about MS. Don't make drastic decisions during a relapse. And find plenty of time to just live as normally as you can.
It is 5:23 A.M., too soon to wake up, but this is no ordinary day---today is your big interview with the boss and everyone thinks you are a shoe-in. Can't be too prepared, you have worked long hours and studied through many nights, wake up and...no...no...God, not today.
The red digital numbers on your alarm clock look fuzzy, foggy. You close one eye, look, then the other. Maybe if you keep your eyes closed until the alarm goes off, maybe you will see okay.
You shut your eyes and pray, "Please, God, not today."
The fast beating of your heart seems audible in the dark room. 5:35 A.M., you open your eyes to peek...all doubt is gone. Your MS optic neuritis has returned. You are relapsing. Fear grabs hold of you as you wonder how long this will last and how bad it will get.
By 6 A.M. you are in the bathroom, looking at your blurred face in the mirror. Is that you? It could be anyone. Vision may be disrupted in the eyes, but tears flow freely. You reach for the water glass, knocking it to the floor. You back up against the wall and slowly slide down, grasping your knees until you are rock bottom to tile and rocking. Inside you scream, "WHY NOW? WHY NOW? WHY NOW?"
That interview will be missed, along with three weeks of work. IV steroids will be administered. The runner-up will get the promotion and office gossip will say, "Too bad. She has that MS thing, you know."
In a couple of months your vision will be almost normal. But MS has stolen something from you. The relapse happened on a bad day. You have become unreliable. Co-workers, friends, family, they will be understanding in the beginning...but the truth of MS is written in those new lines on your face.
Choices must be made about how you will handle relapses. You can embrace this new unpredictability of your life's days, know and share that this is who you are, no worse a you than before, just different. Or, you can stare at the lines on your face and curse the darkness that brought them. Curse the dark, light a candle. Stay, go. Cry over the many glasses of milk you will spill, or buy a cat. HA!
Will you choose to be angry and sad that you relapsed, or happy that it didn't last forever?
Keep in mind that your choice may effect your MS. Believe that you have no control whatsoever over it and you will be on a rocky road for many years. Yes, it strikes right when we are starting to take off in our careers, starting to raise our children, starting to build a solid foundation for our future---would you rather it had started at age 5?
No, it is not fair, but no disease is. Relapsing/remitting, what manner of sick game is this?
Use your remitting time wisely. Sharpen your emotional tools. Discover your true friends. Plan your finances. Educate yourself about MS. Don't make drastic decisions during a relapse. And find plenty of time to just live as normally as you can.
It is 5:23 A.M., too soon to wake up, but this is no ordinary day---today is your big interview with the boss and everyone thinks you are a shoe-in. Can't be too prepared, you have worked long hours and studied through many nights, wake up and...no...no...God, not today.
The red digital numbers on your alarm clock look fuzzy, foggy. You close one eye, look, then the other. Maybe if you keep your eyes closed until the alarm goes off, maybe you will see okay.
You shut your eyes and pray, "Please, God, not today."
The fast beating of your heart seems audible in the dark room. 5:35 A.M., you open your eyes to peek...all doubt is gone. Your MS optic neuritis has returned. You are relapsing. Fear grabs hold of you as you wonder how long this will last and how bad it will get.
By 6 A.M. you are in the bathroom, looking at your blurred face in the mirror. Is that you? It could be anyone. Vision may be disrupted in the eyes, but tears flow freely. You reach for the water glass, knocking it to the floor. You back up against the wall and slowly slide down, grasping your knees until you are rock bottom to tile and rocking. Inside you scream, "WHY NOW? WHY NOW? WHY NOW?"
That interview will be missed, along with three weeks of work. IV steroids will be administered. The runner-up will get the promotion and office gossip will say, "Too bad. She has that MS thing, you know."
In a couple of months your vision will be almost normal. But MS has stolen something from you. The relapse happened on a bad day. You have become unreliable. Co-workers, friends, family, they will be understanding in the beginning...but the truth of MS is written in those new lines on your face.
Choices must be made about how you will handle relapses. You can embrace this new unpredictability of your life's days, know and share that this is who you are, no worse a you than before, just different. Or, you can stare at the lines on your face and curse the darkness that brought them. Curse the dark, light a candle. Stay, go. Cry over the many glasses of milk you will spill, or buy a cat. HA!
Will you choose to be angry and sad that you relapsed, or happy that it didn't last forever?
Keep in mind that your choice may effect your MS. Believe that you have no control whatsoever over it and you will be on a rocky road for many years. Yes, it strikes right when we are starting to take off in our careers, starting to raise our children, starting to build a solid foundation for our future---would you rather it had started at age 5?
No, it is not fair, but no disease is. Relapsing/remitting, what manner of sick game is this?
Use your remitting time wisely. Sharpen your emotional tools. Discover your true friends. Plan your finances. Educate yourself about MS. Don't make drastic decisions during a relapse. And find plenty of time to just live as normally as you can.
It is 5:23 A.M., too soon to wake up, but this is no ordinary day---today is your big interview with the boss and everyone thinks you are a shoe-in. Can't be too prepared, you have worked long hours and studied through many nights, wake up and...no...no...God, not today.
The red digital numbers on your alarm clock look fuzzy, foggy. You close one eye, look, then the other. Maybe if you keep your eyes closed until the alarm goes off, maybe you will see okay.
You shut your eyes and pray, "Please, God, not today."
The fast beating of your heart seems audible in the dark room. 5:35 A.M., you open your eyes to peek...all doubt is gone. Your MS optic neuritis has returned. You are relapsing. Fear grabs hold of you as you wonder how long this will last and how bad it will get.
By 6 A.M. you are in the bathroom, looking at your blurred face in the mirror. Is that you? It could be anyone. Vision may be disrupted in the eyes, but tears flow freely. You reach for the water glass, knocking it to the floor. You back up against the wall and slowly slide down, grasping your knees until you are rock bottom to tile and rocking. Inside you scream, "WHY NOW? WHY NOW? WHY NOW?"
That interview will be missed, along with three weeks of work. IV steroids will be administered. The runner-up will get the promotion and office gossip will say, "Too bad. She has that MS thing, you know."
In a couple of months your vision will be almost normal. But MS has stolen something from you. The relapse happened on a bad day. You have become unreliable. Co-workers, friends, family, they will be understanding in the beginning...but the truth of MS is written in those new lines on your face.
Choices must be made about how you will handle relapses. You can embrace this new unpredictability of your life's days, know and share that this is who you are, no worse a you than before, just different. Or, you can stare at the lines on your face and curse the darkness that brought them. Curse the dark, light a candle. Stay, go. Cry over the many glasses of milk you will spill, or buy a cat. HA!
Will you choose to be angry and sad that you relapsed, or happy that it didn't last forever?
Keep in mind that your choice may effect your MS. Believe that you have no control whatsoever over it and you will be on a rocky road for many years. Yes, it strikes right when we are starting to take off in our careers, starting to raise our children, starting to build a solid foundation for our future---would you rather it had started at age 5?
No, it is not fair, but no disease is. Relapsing/remitting, what manner of sick game is this?
Use your remitting time wisely. Sharpen your emotional tools. Discover your true friends. Plan your finances. Educate yourself about MS. Don't make drastic decisions during a relapse. And find plenty of time to just live as normally as you can.
It is 5:23 A.M., too soon to wake up, but this is no ordinary day---today is your big interview with the boss and everyone thinks you are a shoe-in. Can't be too prepared, you have worked long hours and studied through many nights, wake up and...no...no...God, not today.
The red digital numbers on your alarm clock look fuzzy, foggy. You close one eye, look, then the other. Maybe if you keep your eyes closed until the alarm goes off, maybe you will see okay.
You shut your eyes and pray, "Please, God, not today."
The fast beating of your heart seems audible in the dark room. 5:35 A.M., you open your eyes to peek...all doubt is gone. Your MS optic neuritis has returned. You are relapsing. Fear grabs hold of you as you wonder how long this will last and how bad it will get.
By 6 A.M. you are in the bathroom, looking at your blurred face in the mirror. Is that you? It could be anyone. Vision may be disrupted in the eyes, but tears flow freely. You reach for the water glass, knocking it to the floor. You back up against the wall and slowly slide down, grasping your knees until you are rock bottom to tile and rocking. Inside you scream, "WHY NOW? WHY NOW? WHY NOW?"
That interview will be missed, along with three weeks of work. IV steroids will be administered. The runner-up will get the promotion and office gossip will say, "Too bad. She has that MS thing, you know."
In a couple of months your vision will be almost normal. But MS has stolen something from you. The relapse happened on a bad day. You have become unreliable. Co-workers, friends, family, they will be understanding in the beginning...but the truth of MS is written in those new lines on your face.
Choices must be made about how you will handle relapses. You can embrace this new unpredictability of your life's days, know and share that this is who you are, no worse a you than before, just different. Or, you can stare at the lines on your face and curse the darkness that brought them. Curse the dark, light a candle. Stay, go. Cry over the many glasses of milk you will spill, or buy a cat. HA!
Will you choose to be angry and sad that you relapsed, or happy that it didn't last forever?
Keep in mind that your choice may effect your MS. Believe that you have no control whatsoever over it and you will be on a rocky road for many years. Yes, it strikes right when we are starting to take off in our careers, starting to raise our children, starting to build a solid foundation for our future---would you rather it had started at age 5?
No, it is not fair, but no disease is. Relapsing/remitting, what manner of sick game is this?
Use your remitting time wisely. Sharpen your emotional tools. Discover your true friends. Plan your finances. Educate yourself about MS. Don't make drastic decisions during a relapse. And find plenty of time to just live as normally as you can.
It is 5:23 A.M., too soon to wake up, but this is no ordinary day---today is your big interview with the boss and everyone thinks you are a shoe-in. Can't be too prepared, you have worked long hours and studied through many nights, wake up and...no...no...God, not today.
The red digital numbers on your alarm clock look fuzzy, foggy. You close one eye, look, then the other. Maybe if you keep your eyes closed until the alarm goes off, maybe you will see okay.
You shut your eyes and pray, "Please, God, not today."
The fast beating of your heart seems audible in the dark room. 5:35 A.M., you open your eyes to peek...all doubt is gone. Your MS optic neuritis has returned. You are relapsing. Fear grabs hold of you as you wonder how long this will last and how bad it will get.
By 6 A.M. you are in the bathroom, looking at your blurred face in the mirror. Is that you? It could be anyone. Vision may be disrupted in the eyes, but tears flow freely. You reach for the water glass, knocking it to the floor. You back up against the wall and slowly slide down, grasping your knees until you are rock bottom to tile and rocking. Inside you scream, "WHY NOW? WHY NOW? WHY NOW?"
That interview will be missed, along with three weeks of work. IV steroids will be administered. The runner-up will get the promotion and office gossip will say, "Too bad. She has that MS thing, you know."
In a couple of months your vision will be almost normal. But MS has stolen something from you. The relapse happened on a bad day. You have become unreliable. Co-workers, friends, family, they will be understanding in the beginning...but the truth of MS is written in those new lines on your face.
Choices must be made about how you will handle relapses. You can embrace this new unpredictability of your life's days, know and share that this is who you are, no worse a you than before, just different. Or, you can stare at the lines on your face and curse the darkness that brought them. Curse the dark, light a candle. Stay, go. Cry over the many glasses of milk you will spill, or buy a cat. HA!
Will you choose to be angry and sad that you relapsed, or happy that it didn't last forever?
Keep in mind that your choice may effect your MS. Believe that you have no control whatsoever over it and you will be on a rocky road for many years. Yes, it strikes right when we are starting to take off in our careers, starting to raise our children, starting to build a solid foundation for our future---would you rather it had started at age 5?
No, it is not fair, but no disease is. Relapsing/remitting, what manner of sick game is this?
Use your remitting time wisely. Sharpen your emotional tools. Discover your true friends. Plan your finances. Educate yourself about MS. Don't make drastic decisions during a relapse. And find plenty of time to just live as normally as you can.
It is 5:23 A.M., too soon to wake up, but this is no ordinary day---today is your big interview with the boss and everyone thinks you are a shoe-in. Can't be too prepared, you have worked long hours and studied through many nights, wake up and...no...no...God, not today.
The red digital numbers on your alarm clock look fuzzy, foggy. You close one eye, look, then the other. Maybe if you keep your eyes closed until the alarm goes off, maybe you will see okay.
You shut your eyes and pray, "Please, God, not today."
The fast beating of your heart seems audible in the dark room. 5:35 A.M., you open your eyes to peek...all doubt is gone. Your MS optic neuritis has returned. You are relapsing. Fear grabs hold of you as you wonder how long this will last and how bad it will get.
By 6 A.M. you are in the bathroom, looking at your blurred face in the mirror. Is that you? It could be anyone. Vision may be disrupted in the eyes, but tears flow freely. You reach for the water glass, knocking it to the floor. You back up against the wall and slowly slide down, grasping your knees until you are rock bottom to tile and rocking. Inside you scream, "WHY NOW? WHY NOW? WHY NOW?"
That interview will be missed, along with three weeks of work. IV steroids will be administered. The runner-up will get the promotion and office gossip will say, "Too bad. She has that MS thing, you know."
In a couple of months your vision will be almost normal. But MS has stolen something from you. The relapse happened on a bad day. You have become unreliable. Co-workers, friends, family, they will be understanding in the beginning...but the truth of MS is written in those new lines on your face.
Choices must be made about how you will handle relapses. You can embrace this new unpredictability of your life's days, know and share that this is who you are, no worse a you than before, just different. Or, you can stare at the lines on your face and curse the darkness that brought them. Curse the dark, light a candle. Stay, go. Cry over the many glasses of milk you will spill, or buy a cat. HA!
Will you choose to be angry and sad that you relapsed, or happy that it didn't last forever?
Keep in mind that your choice may effect your MS. Believe that you have no control whatsoever over it and you will be on a rocky road for many years. Yes, it strikes right when we are starting to take off in our careers, starting to raise our children, starting to build a solid foundation for our future---would you rather it had started at age 5?
No, it is not fair, but no disease is. Relapsing/remitting, what manner of sick game is this?
Use your remitting time wisely. Sharpen your emotional tools. Discover your true friends. Plan your finances. Educate yourself about MS. Don't make drastic decisions during a relapse. And find plenty of time to just live as normally as you can.
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