Today I Am Seven Years Old

Another birthday. I need to get a job. My brother, Manny always seems to have a job. He is so smart. Everybody likes him. I can't stand him. He treats me like dirt. What did I ever do to him? And my other brother, Mark? He tried to bury me in a snow pile. I thought I would die. Mom was mad at him, but she just glares at them both and they do stuff to me first chance they get.
Mom told me if Mark didn't love me he wouldn't bother me so much. Sure, Mom, keep thinking that. I think she is afraid to tell them to lay off me because she has guilt about them not having a father around. Mark really wants to visit his father, Manny doesn't seem to care less, like me. Aunt Vi says Manny and I are just alike! I must admit, one day we both came out of two rooms at same time, one at each end of a long hall and said EXACT same words about a TV show that was on. I know we look alike. We both have Mom's dark hair and eyes. I wish I had Mark's red hair instead.

School is still awful. Now not only are the kids crazy but so are the teachers. I think I want to be a teacher when I grow up. The teacher I have is so awful She hits this one poor kid over the HEAD with a heavy book, just because he is playing with a paper rocket ship. She hits him several times day, every day. He rubs his head and the other kids laugh. I don't laugh and I don't see ANYTHING funny about it. "See Jane run. Run Jane, run." GOD! Over and over, each kid takes a turn reading--still half of them can't get past "Run" I like watching, but I never raise my hand. Just leave me out of it. I want out of this town. I can't grow up fast enough.

Went to another funeral and Mom got real mad that Ivah tried to make me kiss the dead body "good bye." I refused. So now Aunt Vi and Ivah are fighting. Aunt Vi told Ivah to "take one of your blue pills!" I wonder what those blue pills do.

Uncle Arthur is coming to town tomorrow. He is such fun. He and aunt Vi are so close. I wonder what that would be like...to have a brother be nice to you. He buys her gifts and treats us all to dinners out. They laugh like kids and play cards all night. Only thing I can't stand about him is how he treats black people. He brings me licorice (I guess, I never ate one) black candy that is supposed to be a black person and he talks real nasty about them. Then aunt Vi joins him. I leave when they start that. Mom says they don't know any better. Makes me sick.

My Uncle Homer is really nice. He is a farmer. I rode with him on his horse across a bridge, it was a little scary. Him and Helen (I don't know why I don't call her aunt, seems wrong, but that's how it is) bring a box of toys for me to play with while Mom visits. Mom doesn't want them to come to OUR house, too messy. Mom is too tired to clean I guess. Aunt Vi cleans for us, but that makes Mom nervous so pretty much the apartment stays messy. The boys keep their rooms pretty clean. I share Mom's room.

Two girls live next door. One is my age Gayleen, one is younger, Joycie. They go to a private school. Oh, guess who goes to MY school?! My father's daughter and she is two years older than me! How can that be? I saw her mom one day, drop her off out front of school in a big red convertible with the top down. The mom looks so young and that girl was pointing and whispering about me. And both were laughing. I just ignored them. Does it mean my father lives around here? I don't have a father, but I don't know what to call him. I can't remember his name.

Another reason to hate school. I like the quiet kids best, but they get treated so bad by the teacher. The whole school thing is a big mess.

Some friend of Aunt Vi's (most are older than her) asked me why I don't like dresses. What a stupid question. If I tried to explain, she wouldn't understand. I just shrug my shoulders. They tell me one day I will "LOVE" dresses! Well, we will see about that.

I am 7 today. March 31st. Big deal.