When Does it Get Better?

The whole "It Gets Better" campaign, aimed at, I believe, gay kids and/or bullied kids, though it is a fine slogan for kids in general since few get out of childhood unscathed by the cruelty of society. I can't recall when I first felt this way, but it was early on, and I just remember all my life WAITING to become an adult. I KNEW my life would get way better once I was free of childhood trappings. I Catcher in the Rye never felt I fit in anywhere. I To Kill a Mocking Bird always wondered how people could be so cruel to one another. And I The Miracle Worker knew one day I would overcome all obstacles.

But if I had to be honest to a kid, I would have to say, "Some things will get better and some things will get worse, probably." I would have to add, "You may never fit in, but that's okay, just be your best you," and "Some obstacles will knock you down, but there are worse places to be than alive on the floor."

Once I phoned my mother and wanted to cry about my lot in life. That is not who I am and my mother is not up to hearing such sadness, but I gave it a shot. She told me, and I'll never forget it (unless I get Alzheimer's, and frankly if I LIVE long enough to get Alzheimer's I will be content that I made it that far, except that I won't know how old I am---vicious circle) "Things will get better."

Well, things only got worse. Had Mom told me that when I was 13, she would have been correct, at least for 5 years. Some people just get more breaks than others. I am happy to be alive and loved. I am happy to live in America and have a roof over my head, clothes, and plenty of food and water. So, while, granted, this post sounds very woe-is-me, I KNOW I should just shut up and sing. But, let's get real, some things will get better and some will get worse. That is called life and it is all we have. (Wow, I'm still bummed out about something, aren't I?)