Shooting Pool with Multiple Sclerosis Excuses

Seriously? He said that to me last evening? "Stop making excuses! I can't do this, I can't do that, because I can't stand. YOU DON'T EVEN TRY!"

Me: "That's what you think of me, isn't it?! That I just sit here and WON'T try to do more." (My voice is now raised to almost match his angry, loud, tone.)

"YESSS," he snarls, as he slams a pool stick on the pool table.

Last evening after a pleasant dinner, my friend here, Mary, asked me if I wanted to play the board game 'Sequence' with her. Joe and I had wondered if there might be a bridge game, but no players, so I nodded and asked him if he wanted to play too. He said yes.

The three of us were playing our third game of Sequence, Mary had won one, I had won two, when Joe gets up and moves behind me, shouting, "Come here!" His voice tone was one I had heard before---he was angry about something. I didn't even try to guess what. He has blown up at various people during games and at dinner, during outings, and whenever. Mary said to me, "Is he quitting?"

Without moving to see what he was up to, I answered, "He just wants to make a point to me about something." I hoped if I ignored him, that he would come back and settle down. There was a table of four regulars playing a nice game of pinochle at a table across the room from us. Surely Joe would not make a commotion in front of witnesses. But, he did. So sure of his correctness.

Must tell you--it had been a terrific day up to that point. After my fall earlier this year, my right (good) arm was still on the mend. The visiting physical therapist warned it could take 6 months to feel 'right' again, SIX MONTHS! I rely on that arm for so MUCH! Oh well, steady goes the race and just yesterday morning I was able to do presses again, no pain, no after-pain--YEA!!

So, Joe won't come back to our table, Mary keeps asking me, "Are we stopping?" I finally roll over in my power chair to see what his issue is. He is at the pool table, holding a stick and he has racked the balls. He shoves the entire rack of balls towards with great force (anger) at me. They are inches from my face. (I have no idea at this point WHAT he wants me to do.)

"What do you want me to do, Joe?" He shoves the entire group of balls in the rack away and then back to me. I look at him. "I can't shove that rack up the table, Joe."

At that comment from me he goes ballistic. He throws a ball on the table, removes the rack and slams IT on the table. "You don't even TRRRY!" I pick up the white ball and tell him to rack 'em up. He does. I slid the ball as hard as I can, breaking the group, but clearly not to Joe's liking.
He growls, "OH." "Joe, I can't shoot pool anymore!" "WHHHHY Damn It!?" "Because I can't stand!' (I have covered my MS limitations with him so many times before. I am now FED UP. And for him to pull this stunt with Mary innocently waiting to play her board game...oh yeah, I was mad.)

"You can't stand, You can't stand, (he is using a mocking voice now) how long will you use that as an EXCUSE!?Oh, FORGET IT." He slams his cue stick and some balls on the tables. I turn to leave and he shouts out, "We'll just play Sequence." I turn my power chair around and facing him say, "I'm not playing with someone who insults me like you do." Then I say good-night to Mary and leave.

Poor Mary. I will call her today. I have warned her that Joe can blow up, but he had been so good lately. My bad.

I spent an hour before I went back to my apartment just chatting with other residents, it was fun, nice. But, yeah, hard not to let something like that accusation on my character ruin my day.


Oh, and as YOU can see, I have tried to shoot pool from my chair, can't get the right leverage. No big deal to me. But, I used to enjoy pool and often toss the balls at each other before bridge games. And that photo, Joe, that is from a national magazine for people with multiple sclerosis, and it is there to show people that I never stop trying what might seem impossible. It shows that maybe one can't shoot pool like they once did, but TRY and see what different kind of fun you might have, or what success you might have that will surprise you! In fact, Joe, my entire mission of my blog is to show people with MS, illness, and hardships in life, that giving up should never be an option. Who cares if you fail or fall? Get up and try again, try something you CAN succeed at and have fun---just as you are.

My 'awareness' attempts with you have not helped you, Joe. I feel sorry for you.