Gifts: Cry, Laugh, Tis The Season

Above is a photo of a Christmas gift I gave to a friend. "Tired Old Ass Salts." Useful, yet whimsical, it mad for a good laugh in my retirement community!

Gifts are often just a potshot, you hit and sometimes you miss. When I was not yet 5 years old, Santa (my mom, older brothers blow such fibs pretty quickly and with great pleasure), left a HUGE box for me. What on earth could be inside? My mom seemed more excited about than I was, must be good!

I opened it up, needed mom's help in pulling it out, YAAAAAAA!! I started screaming bloody murder. I was terrified at what I could only describe as a witch! Frightening hair sticking straight up! My brothers started laughing, always fast to take pleasure in my fear, and mom had the most upset look on her face.

"Look," she began as she pulled IT out, "it's a dog! And see, you can comb its hair."

With tears rolling down my shaking face, all I could think was, "That is NO dog *I* have ever seen!" and "COMB IT? I can't even see any eyes! Where would I begin?!" It was meant to be a shaggy sheepdog with long brown hair, fun for a child to comb. Thus would begin my (according to the laughter and dismay that I know this post will bring from my partner) apparently difficult nature to buy a gift for that I don't think: What the Hell were they thinking?

Again, no point in my showing examples, gifts are all about the thought and all are given, well, 99% are, with the intent to please me...I'll leave it at that. The shaggy dog is not a good example because in that case it was all about the presentation. Once I found they eyes, it was fun to comb him.

My poor partner, so often she hears, "Have you EVER in ___years SEEN me wearing___?" I'm sure I am particularly hard on gift-givers because I consider myself especially adept at giving good gifts, presentation et al. No one will deny that. Aunt Vi taught me about finding the perfect gift and she was the Guru.

To wit: One year I ordered a very expensive perfume for partner. It arrived. I wrapped it beautifully. On Christmas morning she opened it, "THERE is the body wash I've been waiting for?!" Yep, I didn't know $2.99 soap from $199 perfume. (My order hadn't gone through and she had been waiting for her soap, er, body wash) (GIRLS. I can get soap for 99 CENTS---I digress)

Oh, oh, oh, and one year when Aunt Vi was in her 90s, I bought her a very fancy perfume in a very fancy container, a skater danced around, music played when opened...she didn't seem too thrilled. Many months later I would learn that neither she nor my mother could figure out how to use it, so it sat in its box. My brother finally got in working for her. Like I say, sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss.

Now that I have less money to spend: presentation, presentation, presentation.

Any funny gift experiences you've had?