Okay, so now that I have been in a happy relationship (one vote away from a possible marriage) for almost 33 years, I feel I can thrust some "happy married couple" wisdom, and/or anecdotes on others. I thought some of you might be curious about what we fight, IE, argue about.
Last night it was graham crackers. I requested a graham cracker cookie (I see the irony here, clearly they are not cookies, but to me they will always be cookies.) with peanut butter on one side and cream cheese on the other. Simple, no? (glad you agree with me so far)
The questions came back, "One or two?" I replied, a bit startled since why would I have two? I never have had two in 32 years! (uh-oh, lost my sentence...) "What? One. Why would you ask that?" (Ok, right there. Mistake. Never ask a partner why they ask something. Duh---because they want to KNOW. My bad.)
"Sometimes you want a quarter." (WTF? A quarter? Maybe she didn't hear me. I better start over and speak slower.) (EEERK! WRONG! Never repeat something slower, it comes off as condescending. My bad.)
"I want one cracker, tear in two, cream cheese on one side, peanut butter on other. Then, you know, put them together. What do you mean a QUARTER?" (Uh-oh, she is now stomping into the living room.)
Holding up a cookie, er, cracker, she says in her "you are in trouble, sister"--voice: "This is the cracker and it is in fours. You see?" (such a condescending voice)
"Well, yeah, if you hold it like that! Don't you see the middle line? So, you think it is eighths!?"
I'll stop here, it sounds silly now. But if you hold a Honey Made graham cracker, and look at it, you will see the pattern and one full length cookie is two together. Anyway, the fight went on for what seemed forever, at least fifteen minutes. Neither of us care much for math, 1/8s and so on, so it was very unpleasant. And yes, it eventually made us laugh hysterically, as our fights usually do.
We have an unspoken rule: We never fight in public. Never.
Maybe that is our 'secret' to lasting relationships---we are lovers and laughers, not fighters.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Fighting About Graham Crackers and Lasting Love Advice
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Okay, so now that I have been in a happy relationship (one vote away from a possible marriage) for almost 33 years, I feel I can thrust some "happy married couple" wisdom, and/or anecdotes on others. I thought some of you might be curious about what we fight, IE, argue about.
Last night it was graham crackers. I requested a graham cracker cookie (I see the irony here, clearly they are not cookies, but to me they will always be cookies.) with peanut butter on one side and cream cheese on the other. Simple, no? (glad you agree with me so far)
The questions came back, "One or two?" I replied, a bit startled since why would I have two? I never have had two in 32 years! (uh-oh, lost my sentence...) "What? One. Why would you ask that?" (Ok, right there. Mistake. Never ask a partner why they ask something. Duh---because they want to KNOW. My bad.)
"Sometimes you want a quarter." (WTF? A quarter? Maybe she didn't hear me. I better start over and speak slower.) (EEERK! WRONG! Never repeat something slower, it comes off as condescending. My bad.)
"I want one cracker, tear in two, cream cheese on one side, peanut butter on other. Then, you know, put them together. What do you mean a QUARTER?" (Uh-oh, she is now stomping into the living room.)
Holding up a cookie, er, cracker, she says in her "you are in trouble, sister"--voice: "This is the cracker and it is in fours. You see?" (such a condescending voice)
"Well, yeah, if you hold it like that! Don't you see the middle line? So, you think it is eighths!?"
I'll stop here, it sounds silly now. But if you hold a Honey Made graham cracker, and look at it, you will see the pattern and one full length cookie is two together. Anyway, the fight went on for what seemed forever, at least fifteen minutes. Neither of us care much for math, 1/8s and so on, so it was very unpleasant. And yes, it eventually made us laugh hysterically, as our fights usually do.
We have an unspoken rule: We never fight in public. Never.
Maybe that is our 'secret' to lasting relationships---we are lovers and laughers, not fighters.
Okay, so now that I have been in a happy relationship (one vote away from a possible marriage) for almost 33 years, I feel I can thrust some "happy married couple" wisdom, and/or anecdotes on others. I thought some of you might be curious about what we fight, IE, argue about.
Last night it was graham crackers. I requested a graham cracker cookie (I see the irony here, clearly they are not cookies, but to me they will always be cookies.) with peanut butter on one side and cream cheese on the other. Simple, no? (glad you agree with me so far)
The questions came back, "One or two?" I replied, a bit startled since why would I have two? I never have had two in 32 years! (uh-oh, lost my sentence...) "What? One. Why would you ask that?" (Ok, right there. Mistake. Never ask a partner why they ask something. Duh---because they want to KNOW. My bad.)
"Sometimes you want a quarter." (WTF? A quarter? Maybe she didn't hear me. I better start over and speak slower.) (EEERK! WRONG! Never repeat something slower, it comes off as condescending. My bad.)
"I want one cracker, tear in two, cream cheese on one side, peanut butter on other. Then, you know, put them together. What do you mean a QUARTER?" (Uh-oh, she is now stomping into the living room.)
Holding up a cookie, er, cracker, she says in her "you are in trouble, sister"--voice: "This is the cracker and it is in fours. You see?" (such a condescending voice)
"Well, yeah, if you hold it like that! Don't you see the middle line? So, you think it is eighths!?"
I'll stop here, it sounds silly now. But if you hold a Honey Made graham cracker, and look at it, you will see the pattern and one full length cookie is two together. Anyway, the fight went on for what seemed forever, at least fifteen minutes. Neither of us care much for math, 1/8s and so on, so it was very unpleasant. And yes, it eventually made us laugh hysterically, as our fights usually do.
We have an unspoken rule: We never fight in public. Never.
Maybe that is our 'secret' to lasting relationships---we are lovers and laughers, not fighters.
Okay, so now that I have been in a happy relationship (one vote away from a possible marriage) for almost 33 years, I feel I can thrust some "happy married couple" wisdom, and/or anecdotes on others. I thought some of you might be curious about what we fight, IE, argue about.
Last night it was graham crackers. I requested a graham cracker cookie (I see the irony here, clearly they are not cookies, but to me they will always be cookies.) with peanut butter on one side and cream cheese on the other. Simple, no? (glad you agree with me so far)
The questions came back, "One or two?" I replied, a bit startled since why would I have two? I never have had two in 32 years! (uh-oh, lost my sentence...) "What? One. Why would you ask that?" (Ok, right there. Mistake. Never ask a partner why they ask something. Duh---because they want to KNOW. My bad.)
"Sometimes you want a quarter." (WTF? A quarter? Maybe she didn't hear me. I better start over and speak slower.) (EEERK! WRONG! Never repeat something slower, it comes off as condescending. My bad.)
"I want one cracker, tear in two, cream cheese on one side, peanut butter on other. Then, you know, put them together. What do you mean a QUARTER?" (Uh-oh, she is now stomping into the living room.)
Holding up a cookie, er, cracker, she says in her "you are in trouble, sister"--voice: "This is the cracker and it is in fours. You see?" (such a condescending voice)
"Well, yeah, if you hold it like that! Don't you see the middle line? So, you think it is eighths!?"
I'll stop here, it sounds silly now. But if you hold a Honey Made graham cracker, and look at it, you will see the pattern and one full length cookie is two together. Anyway, the fight went on for what seemed forever, at least fifteen minutes. Neither of us care much for math, 1/8s and so on, so it was very unpleasant. And yes, it eventually made us laugh hysterically, as our fights usually do.
We have an unspoken rule: We never fight in public. Never.
Maybe that is our 'secret' to lasting relationships---we are lovers and laughers, not fighters.
Okay, so now that I have been in a happy relationship (one vote away from a possible marriage) for almost 33 years, I feel I can thrust some "happy married couple" wisdom, and/or anecdotes on others. I thought some of you might be curious about what we fight, IE, argue about.
Last night it was graham crackers. I requested a graham cracker cookie (I see the irony here, clearly they are not cookies, but to me they will always be cookies.) with peanut butter on one side and cream cheese on the other. Simple, no? (glad you agree with me so far)
The questions came back, "One or two?" I replied, a bit startled since why would I have two? I never have had two in 32 years! (uh-oh, lost my sentence...) "What? One. Why would you ask that?" (Ok, right there. Mistake. Never ask a partner why they ask something. Duh---because they want to KNOW. My bad.)
"Sometimes you want a quarter." (WTF? A quarter? Maybe she didn't hear me. I better start over and speak slower.) (EEERK! WRONG! Never repeat something slower, it comes off as condescending. My bad.)
"I want one cracker, tear in two, cream cheese on one side, peanut butter on other. Then, you know, put them together. What do you mean a QUARTER?" (Uh-oh, she is now stomping into the living room.)
Holding up a cookie, er, cracker, she says in her "you are in trouble, sister"--voice: "This is the cracker and it is in fours. You see?" (such a condescending voice)
"Well, yeah, if you hold it like that! Don't you see the middle line? So, you think it is eighths!?"
I'll stop here, it sounds silly now. But if you hold a Honey Made graham cracker, and look at it, you will see the pattern and one full length cookie is two together. Anyway, the fight went on for what seemed forever, at least fifteen minutes. Neither of us care much for math, 1/8s and so on, so it was very unpleasant. And yes, it eventually made us laugh hysterically, as our fights usually do.
We have an unspoken rule: We never fight in public. Never.
Maybe that is our 'secret' to lasting relationships---we are lovers and laughers, not fighters.
Okay, so now that I have been in a happy relationship (one vote away from a possible marriage) for almost 33 years, I feel I can thrust some "happy married couple" wisdom, and/or anecdotes on others. I thought some of you might be curious about what we fight, IE, argue about.
Last night it was graham crackers. I requested a graham cracker cookie (I see the irony here, clearly they are not cookies, but to me they will always be cookies.) with peanut butter on one side and cream cheese on the other. Simple, no? (glad you agree with me so far)
The questions came back, "One or two?" I replied, a bit startled since why would I have two? I never have had two in 32 years! (uh-oh, lost my sentence...) "What? One. Why would you ask that?" (Ok, right there. Mistake. Never ask a partner why they ask something. Duh---because they want to KNOW. My bad.)
"Sometimes you want a quarter." (WTF? A quarter? Maybe she didn't hear me. I better start over and speak slower.) (EEERK! WRONG! Never repeat something slower, it comes off as condescending. My bad.)
"I want one cracker, tear in two, cream cheese on one side, peanut butter on other. Then, you know, put them together. What do you mean a QUARTER?" (Uh-oh, she is now stomping into the living room.)
Holding up a cookie, er, cracker, she says in her "you are in trouble, sister"--voice: "This is the cracker and it is in fours. You see?" (such a condescending voice)
"Well, yeah, if you hold it like that! Don't you see the middle line? So, you think it is eighths!?"
I'll stop here, it sounds silly now. But if you hold a Honey Made graham cracker, and look at it, you will see the pattern and one full length cookie is two together. Anyway, the fight went on for what seemed forever, at least fifteen minutes. Neither of us care much for math, 1/8s and so on, so it was very unpleasant. And yes, it eventually made us laugh hysterically, as our fights usually do.
We have an unspoken rule: We never fight in public. Never.
Maybe that is our 'secret' to lasting relationships---we are lovers and laughers, not fighters.
Okay, so now that I have been in a happy relationship (one vote away from a possible marriage) for almost 33 years, I feel I can thrust some "happy married couple" wisdom, and/or anecdotes on others. I thought some of you might be curious about what we fight, IE, argue about.
Last night it was graham crackers. I requested a graham cracker cookie (I see the irony here, clearly they are not cookies, but to me they will always be cookies.) with peanut butter on one side and cream cheese on the other. Simple, no? (glad you agree with me so far)
The questions came back, "One or two?" I replied, a bit startled since why would I have two? I never have had two in 32 years! (uh-oh, lost my sentence...) "What? One. Why would you ask that?" (Ok, right there. Mistake. Never ask a partner why they ask something. Duh---because they want to KNOW. My bad.)
"Sometimes you want a quarter." (WTF? A quarter? Maybe she didn't hear me. I better start over and speak slower.) (EEERK! WRONG! Never repeat something slower, it comes off as condescending. My bad.)
"I want one cracker, tear in two, cream cheese on one side, peanut butter on other. Then, you know, put them together. What do you mean a QUARTER?" (Uh-oh, she is now stomping into the living room.)
Holding up a cookie, er, cracker, she says in her "you are in trouble, sister"--voice: "This is the cracker and it is in fours. You see?" (such a condescending voice)
"Well, yeah, if you hold it like that! Don't you see the middle line? So, you think it is eighths!?"
I'll stop here, it sounds silly now. But if you hold a Honey Made graham cracker, and look at it, you will see the pattern and one full length cookie is two together. Anyway, the fight went on for what seemed forever, at least fifteen minutes. Neither of us care much for math, 1/8s and so on, so it was very unpleasant. And yes, it eventually made us laugh hysterically, as our fights usually do.
We have an unspoken rule: We never fight in public. Never.
Maybe that is our 'secret' to lasting relationships---we are lovers and laughers, not fighters.
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